Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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