I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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