remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
