Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
