Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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