i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
