i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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