Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
