You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My life is pants optional.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
