I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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