Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
