is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
