Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
