I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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