everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
