problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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