Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
