it was like eating out sand paper
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That accounts for only three of the penises
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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