don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
