I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
