R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
