In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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