I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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