I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
