Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
time to smoke my breakfast
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
