Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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