...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
