Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
