Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
