ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
someone owes me an orgasm
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
