i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
