DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she peed on how many people?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
