she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
