i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
