I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
