I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
