it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
