His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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