didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
