Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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