I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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