I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
