hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
