I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
