I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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