So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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