legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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