That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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