we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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