Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
