we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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