If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
