Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
