end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
