textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
