Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
