ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
