M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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