Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
